Become a better listener in 3 steps
You might think you are a good listener because you put away distractions, stay quiet, and nod your head when someone is talking to you….but are you hearing what the person in front of you is saying? This article provides valuable tips to enhance your listening abilities, enabling more effective communication and understanding, which results in people feeling understood and heard.
A good listener is attentive and listens actively without interruption as well as being empathetic through considering the perspectives and feelings of others. A great listener is also observant through not only comprehending the content but also discerning the emotional tone of communication. The now famous term ‘Active listening’ originated from the field of counseling and psychotherapy in the 1950s. It was developed as a technique to enhance communication between therapists and clients, primarily by Carl Rogers and his colleagues.
Here are 3 important steps that will help you become a better leader by listening more consciously.
Step 1: Create a Listening Climate
Eliminate interference by removing distractions to create an environment conducive to listening. Adopt a listening attitude by cultivating an open and receptive mindset toward the speaker. Practice silence and refrain from speaking to allow the speaker enough space to express themselves. A tip is to use the acronym WAIT to support yourself, standing for “Why Am I Talking?”
Step 2: Follow the Speaker verbally and non-verbally
Embrace silence and use brief pauses in the conversation to provide the speaker time to gather their thoughts. View the pauses as opportunities for reflection rather than confrontation. Provide support by offering non-verbal cues and subtle encouragements to demonstrate engagement and understanding like nodding and saying “hmh” and “yes” etc.
Step 3: Test your Understanding
Maintain clarity and direction in the conversation through various repetition techniques:
Recapitulation - summarise the key points discussed.
Clarification - ask for clarification to ensure comprehension.
Articulation - explain your perspective or interpretation to facilitate mutual understanding.
Between the lines - say what you are hearing, for example, “ I am hearing….is that correct?” and pay attention to the speaker's emotions as well as the kind of words they are using
Paraphrasing - repeat the speaker's message by using your own words to ensure mutual understanding.
A final tip!
Do not underestimate the power of deepening your understanding through open questions. Asking open questions can enrich dialogue and deepen understanding. Distinguish between closed questions where the answer is either a “Yes” or a “No” and closes off the conversation. Also, avoid suggestive or leading questions and be aware that the kind of questions you ask will influence the answers you get.
Instead opt for neutral inquiries to prevent bias and ensure accurate responses through open questions often starting with “What..?, When…? “How…”. Open questions give space for the speaker to elaborate on their thoughts and ideas. This will strengthen the speaker in their self-confidence and allow them to stay engaged and motivated as well as opening up for a good mutual understanding.
Incorporate these strategies into your managerial approach to foster meaningful connections and effective communication with your team members.
