Better communication in the workplace? Avoid questionable language with 5 straightforward conversation tips
The ability to deliver a message powerfully, express your ideas clearly, and make bold suggestions are key skills for excelling in the workplace. So it's very important to eliminate questionable language from your vocabulary to earn respect within your team. Here are five things you should never say again:
To be respected within your team, you need to present your ideas and proposals powerfully. But, over the years, you may have developed a speaking style that weakens not only your message, but also you as a person. Instead of speaking clearly and directly, you hide your message behind vague expressions, leading to the use of questionable language.
Doubt language is a form of communication where you present yourself uncertainly by using words like “maybe,” “actually,” or “in principle.” This has the negative effect that your insights and ideas do not come across well. What's more, you run the risk of not getting the attention you deserve as an employee, simply because you don't know how to formulate your message strongly.
However, by consciously changing your communication style and making small, subtle changes, you can change this. Not only does this make your message more powerful, but it also makes you appear stronger as a team member, colleague or employee.
What are you waiting for? Boost your communication skills and learn how to communicate more effectively in the workplace. By swearing that you will never use the following 5 sentences again:
1. “I'm not sure either but...”
“Yes, I may say something that is wrong, but what if we...”
“I'm not an expert either, eh, but when I see the numbers, 35% of our...”
These phrases indicate an attempt to suggest ideas without appearing arrogant or know-it-all. However, this approach is problematic for two reasons. First of all, you are unconsciously undermining the credibility of your point of view, no matter how strong it is. Secondly, you place yourself at a lower level unnecessarily, for fear of being seen as a know-it-all.
Stop doing this.
If you are convinced of something, express it forcefully, without putting yourself down. Should you discover a mistake afterwards, so am it. It's human nature to make mistakes; however, telling them beforehand that you might be wrong is like digging your own grave.
How to express yourself from now on:
Tip: take it easy
You can easily avoid this style of communication by taking it easy. Breathe in and out slowly before speaking. In this way, you give yourself the space to structure your thoughts. Not only does this result in thoughtful answers, but you also appear more confident.
In... — out... — “I think it would be interesting to have a look at the next project...
”In... — out... — “Based on the figures, I can conclude that our...”
2. “I just want a minute...”
“Hey Tom, I just want to check if you got my memo...”
“Uhm, I just want to say that the four-hour customer has moved to...”
The use of these phrases indicates an attempt to avoid rejection and not to claim valuable time unnecessarily. While these intentions are understandable, you should also omit this form of communication because it undermines the strength of your message. Not only do you appear defensive, it also seems like you're apologizing for something.
You may think you're just talking to someone, but Tom may hear “sorry to bother you, but...”. This isn't the atmosphere you want to create, as it's at odds with strong communication.
What you should do from now on:
Tip: take a critical look at your written communication
Scan your messages, apps, and emails for phrases like “just as fast,” “just a minute,” or “I really wanted to.” Become aware of how often and in what situations you use these phrases. You may notice that you are particularly hesitant when you send an email to your supervisor. Recognize these patterns in yourself.
Then, if you do accidentally use these phrases, delete them. Repeat this over and over again. When you notice that you are no longer using them in writing, switch the focus to your verbal communication.
“Hey Tom, did you get my memo that I sent out on Wednesday?”
“The four-hour customer has been postponed to Tuesday afternoon. I'll send you another reminder about this by email.”
This way, your message immediately comes across as much more powerful.
3. “I don't think that...”
“No, sorry. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to go with you tonight.”
“Uhm, I don't think I'm very excited about that.”
Again, questionable language, suggesting that you have no control over your own actions. It comes across as passive and as a communication style that brings you down.
This type of language prevents you from speaking out about what you really want or what you think about something. It keeps you unnecessarily stuck in your comfort zone or in situations where you're uncomfortable. That has to be different.
What you should do from now on:
Tip: take back control of your own decisions
Show that you are in control of your own choices and actions, not an external force. This can easily be achieved by choosing your words more carefully. Replace the timid “I don't think so” with a clear “I don't want to,” “I'm not going,” or “I won't.” It's a subtle but powerful way to express your wishes and feelings.
“Nice of you to ask me, but I'm not coming tonight.”
“I no longer want you to deliver those documents so late. Let's agree that...”
At first, this can feel awkward, maybe even intimidating, especially if you use these new phrases in a meeting or against a supervisor. Do it anyway. As a result, you will not only improve your communication skills in the workplace, but you will also learn to set your limits better.
4. “Do you understand what I want to say with this?”
“... they chose plan A. Do you understand where I want to go?”
... why this project is being canceled. Is that clear to you? Did I explain that concretely?”
Until the moment you ask that question, your audience understands you. You could easily follow your interlocutor and everyone was even on your every word during the meeting. However, if you add that last part to your speech, you will sweep it off the table in one fell swoop. Suddenly, your colleagues start to have doubts —”Do I really understand what he's saying?” or”hm, she was indeed unclear!”
It's like undermining your own work and shows uncertainty about yourself.
What you should say from now on:
Tip: formulate questions as statements
If you want to verify that your message has come across correctly, don't express your concerns as a question. Formulate it as a statement:
“If there are any questions, I would love to hear them.”
“If something isn't clear as soon as you start, be sure to talk to me.”
This way, you give space for questions without undermining your own clear communication and you radiate self-confidence.
5. “Maybe we can try x?”
“Maybe it's an idea to... from the next term...”
“Hey, how would you like to maybe...”
Using such phrases shows that you are turning your statement into a question. This often happens out of fear of criticism, uncertainty about your point of view, or fear of being misunderstood. Using such questionable language not only weakens your message, but also your own position. This way, you relinquish control over your ideas, as it were:
You let the reaction of your interlocutor or audience determine whether your suggestion is worthwhile. Asking a question makes it easy for others to criticize or undermine your statement. Don't do that yourself.
What you should say from now on:
Tip: present your statement as what it really is: a statement
Avoid using questionable phrases and make your point of view clear. Whether you're completely sure or not, omit the question element and possibly add the words “I find” to make it even more powerful:
“I think we should consider... in the next term...”
“Hey, I think it's incredibly interesting if we...”
In short: better communication in the workplace? Avoid questionable language
As you've seen, it's surprisingly easy to get your message across more powerfully. It's about small, subtle differences — avoiding questions and using statements more often, eliminating doubt words and getting straight to the heart of your message. This is something everyone can learn!
Try it for yourself. Become aware of how you communicate in the workplace and choose your words with care. This not only makes your message come across better, but you also come out stronger as a person!
Here are some friendly and easy tips to strengthen your communication style:
Take it easy
- Breathe in and out slowly before speaking.
- Structure your thoughts for a powerful presentation.
Also take a critical look at your written communication
- Scan messages for questionable phrases.
- Recognize patterns and remove them from your written communication.
- Then incorporate it into your verbal communication.
Take back control of your own decisions
- Replace “I don't think that” with clear and confident statements.
- Show that you are in control of your own choices.
Formulate questions as statements
- Avoid undermining your own message with uncertainty.
- Give space for questions without questioning your own clarity.
Make your statement what it really is: a statement
- Avoid making your statement into a question.
- Clarify your position and possibly add “I find” for extra strength.
