Dealing with conflict in the workplace: 5 tips
Teambuilding
Difficult situations at work, conflicting interests or annoying behavior on the part of colleagues. Conflicts in the workplace are inevitable. You would love to face the confrontation, but how do you do that without damaging the relationship? Or worse, without making your co-worker angry or upset? Here are 5 tips on conflict management.
When do you speak of a conflict?
We often associate this word with a discussion, an argument, or a conflict that has run too high to be resolved at all. While that doesn't have to be the case at all. Try to look at a conflict from the bright side. This way, you also reduce your expectations about how difficult it will be.
Think of friction or disagreement as a necessary and healthy way to improve the relationship and cooperation between you and your colleague. Always start the conversation with the intention to come to a solution together.
Some conflicts are more difficult than others. When it comes to a sensitive subject that can upset both parties, it is important to approach it carefully. How do you address a conflict in a timely manner, without it having the chance to develop into an unnecessarily heated conversation?
#1 Keep it within the team
Scaling up a conflict with a colleague to the manager makes your colleague feel undermined. So keep it colleague-to-colleague. This creates respect, trust and creates an open atmosphere where solutions are easier to come up with. If the conflict can be resolved without involving managers, do this too!
Are you a manager and have you received a complaint from an employee about another colleague? Always check that everything possible has been done to address the problem within the team before you intervene and mediate.
#2 Define the problem
Before confrontation, be clear about what you want to achieve with the conversation and how you got to this point. First, clarify the problem and make it concrete for yourself. Choose a time when your emotions don't prevail. This way, you ensure that you can calmly find out exactly where exactly the sting is for you. It is important that you leave your negative thoughts out of this as much as possible. These can easily cloud your judgment.
So what is the ideal result? Also, try to imagine this beforehand, so you can give yourself something positive to strive for while the discussion takes place.
#3 Choose neutral soil
You've probably experienced such a situation yourself: You're called to an office or boardroom. Do you remember how you felt? Were you carefree and relaxed, or did you go in with a high heart rate and a knot in your stomach?
The setting in which you enter into confrontation is important. Where possible, avoid formal sit-downs and, for example, opt for a cup of coffee in a neutral, yet enclosed space. When everyone is as comfortable as the other person, there is less chance of anxious or emotional reactions.
#4 Keep emotion and logic in balance
You have found a pleasant, neutral location and you clearly see the problem in mind. How to discuss the conflict now The key is finding the perfect balance between your logical reactions and your emotional reactions. When too much of both occurs, this often leads to a conclusion that both parties are not satisfied with. Therefore, try to be as clear and factual as possible, while still keeping an eye on both yourself and your interlocutor's emotions.
Don't forget that every situation needs a different balance. Adapt to this and remember that a purely factual approach does not take into account your colleague's emotions and needs.
#5 Always go for empathy
Putting yourself in the shoes of the person you're confronting is a means of reaching a peaceful solution. Listen carefully to the reasons and circumstances that the other person has to say and take them into account when formulating a solution. When you do this, you both walk away feeling heard and understood.
Finding a solution together is the goal
What often happens when confrontations in the workplace have gone on for too long is what you actually want to achieve. Reaching a solution should always be seen as the goal when dealing with conflicts instead of talking out one problem that may occur again later.
A good solution must be mutually compatible and achievable. So don't just name a solution, but work together and decide how you're going to work towards it. Also, don't set deadlines for when the change should be made, but let the other person know that you will support them on their way there. Make it clear that you are available for questions and advice. This also prevents future conflicts.
